I'm delighted to be invited to contribute to this first edition of "It's a Duck's Life" as I think it's a really good idea. Working in the Counselling Service, I spend most days talking to students about the difficulties they experience, and very often I've thought "if only you could hear what so-and-so said, you'd realise you're not alone, - what you're feeling is entirely normal, it's how students in those circumstances do feel".  And now John and the editorial team have found a way of letting other students find out about what really happens in student life – so, congratulations to them!

I love the duck as an image of student life: he seems to be swimming along so smoothly while his legs are working furiously.  I think we seldom realise that other people feel just like we do inside, and when we compare our internal feelings of doubt, worry, anger, jealousy, competitiveness, hatred, and fear to the smooth confident exterior of others, we can feel ashamed, alone, or like a failure. The other ducks swimming along so peacefully don't seem to suffer in these ways, but if we realise that actually the other ducks have to paddle just as hard as we are doing, things often get a bit easier.  I'm sure "It's a Duck's Life" is going to be a great innovation.

So why do we need a Counselling Service?   What does it do?  In essence the point of a counselling service is that it's somewhere you can talk about things that you can't share with others, at least until you've looked at it in private.  Yes, sharing experience with others around you can often be helpful, but there will always be other aspects of your relationship with them that stops you being completely open; talking to your parents, for instance, has all kinds of agendas - they may want to comfort, guide, criticise or blame you.  Similarly, with friends, you may find it difficult to share how you're really feeling because they may not understand, or may not know how to help and simply feel bad themselves.  When you talk to a counsellor, these kinds of complications are absent: though you may still worry about how the counsellor sees you, gradually you will find that your counsellor isn't shocked, and is probably entirely familiar with the issues you mention, seeing it as normal that you feel as you do in your circumstances. A counsellor doesn't tell you what to do, or pass any judgements about you, but is interested in how you see yourself and how you understand what is happening to you.  Your counsellor may be able to help you think about things that you didn't realise were involved, helping you to gain a clearer picture of everything that is happening to you.  When you can see things more objectively with the help of counselling, it's easier to make the next step in resolving your difficulties. 

The first step will have been to ask for counselling, and that's often the biggest one.  There is still a stigma attached to counselling – "it's for nutters" is the sort of thing we hear, and even if you don't think that, you probably do think it's something that other people who feel really bad need, not you.  Most of us tend to believe that we ought to be able to sort things out for ourselves too.   I believe that, on the contrary, being grown-up and independent is about taking responsibility for oneself, and this means knowing when you do need help and asking for it.

Some students might not want counselling because they are used to thinking things out and analysing themselves a lot—what's a counsellor going to add that you haven't already thought of for yourself? An outsider's perspective can help you see things you can't because you're trapped in your own ways of thinking.  In this way, counsellors describe themselves as objective mirrors for what people say to them.  More importantly however, your counsellor probably has a lot of experience of other people with your issues, and can see similarities and patterns that you wouldn't know about unless you sat in a counsellor's chair.  Finally, although counsellors seldom claim this, we are experts in human behaviour, although we're not there to tell you how you should live your life, but we know a lot about the human mind you've got. 

Using the Counselling Service

Sadly, the university counselling service is a limited resource, but if you'd like to see a counsellor, contact our receptionists.  They will arrange for you a short  "Open Door" session with one of our counsellors with whom you can discuss whether counselling is the right thing for you.  If it is, you'll be put on a waiting list for on-going counselling, or for one of the support groups that we offer: Getting Down to Writing, Relaxation, Food, Ourselves and Others and Living in Britain.

To find out more about our service, or to book an appointment, visit us in the Careers and Counselling Building, just off covered way between Vanbrugh and the University Library or

·          Visit our website www.york.ac.uk/admin/scs,

·          Telephone 2140 (internal), 01904 432140 (external)

·          Email counselling@york.ac.uk