Thank goodness. Thank goodness someone has come up with this website. This time last year I had locked myself in my dingy first year accommodation room, and I was totally alone. Yes the University gave us all the old introductory talk about all the 'support' that would be available but like everything else on campus, it seemed like a clique. As ridiculous as it might sound, it seemed to me that those who were meant to help us were merely sitting around the S.U drinking coffee and back-patting. That I had the nerve to go and get 'help' was difficult enough, but then to be faced with the 'cool crew' all in their matching hoodies- 'look at us, we BELONG' was too much. There are some incredibly caring people out there, but sadly there are too many cv-worriers; those doing the voluntary thing just for the brownie points. So I spent the first year in my room, gained weight as I sat eating junk food in front of any dvd that took me away from my life, york and university. My friends had all taken a gap year, so no one to talk to there, my parents lived far away, so no parental help like going home for the odd weekend. Furthermore, there was no one like me. In fact, I still find it hard to relate to most people here. Does this make me wierd? At school I was so happy; a very high achiever and always hanging out with my friends. I have never lacked confidence, being in plays and concerts since a young age. I'm sorry, but this article doesn't have a happy ending or a solution. Suddenly I'm on the downhill. I wouldn't dream of going on stage now. I don't have many friends. I haven't found a single society that I fit into, despite trying Yoga, Netball, U.N, Salsa and others. I miss having friends, having a laugh, being a leader like a captain of sport or something. I used to thrive off all that and now I am an arts student with a library desk as a best friend. Furthermore my boyfriend lives in London so I live for the weekends when I can be with him. All my hobbies are lonely ones, I feel lost and long for the day I graduate. Maybe then I will feel like my existence has some impact on life outside of my close family and friendship circle. No one would suspect this, and that's what's hardest about the whole situation. I'm a pretty girl who everyone expects to be 'just loving life'. I'm sorry to say that I am still far from that, and hope that others in my situation take comfort from my truthful account.