Sometimes pinpointing the right words to express yourself can be as challenging as the situation which urged you write. Such is the case for me. My purpose in this article is to discuss an issue which  often inflames one party and alienates the other: the decline of romance. I am aware that to many people even admitting to any depth of feeling is a struggle and a taboo; writing those feelings down is a vulgarity. Strangely enough it is these people who flinch at the very word of "feelings" who fascinate me. The social conventions of modern times seem to dictate that we should build an impenetrable fortress around ourselves and defend it fiercely against any suspected assailant. Instead of showering our lovers with affection we feign indifference, and if they should be foolish enough to try to break the barriers we have our swordsmen at the ready, willing and able to stab them through the heart before they get any closer. But was it not arrows that were originally the weapons of Love? Is there any hope in a world filled with cynicism and wounded hearts for a fresh start?

Ask anyone who knows me well and they will probably tell you that I am a hopeless romantic; hopeless being the operative word. Not only do I refuse to accept the sceptical warnings of concerned friends, but I actively seek tortured souls and philanderers who have no interest in being rescued. One thing I have learned from this is that to a certain extent the Venus/Mars cliché is true. The root of the problem seems to be an unsurpassable breach in communication. I apologise if I offend any male readers with this generalisation, but why are so many of you afraid that we are trying to change, restrain or control you? For my part I can honestly say that I have no interest in dating a lapdog who I can train to sit, beg and roll-over. This is not to say I have no expectations, no woman wants to be cheated on or taken for granted, but surely this should be a natural consequence of mutual affection? I lose count of the number of times that I have seen perfectly happy couples fail simply because the man is afraid of being "tied down." It may be assumed at this point that I am partaking in a bit of target practice here but that is not my intention. I do not hate men, nor do I believe that women are all blameless victims when relationships fail. My intentions are merely to highlight a common misconception which seems to lead to unnecessary conflict.

The sad thing is that you can often see why so many men are afraid of commitment; I blame the existence of "monster couples." I'm sure you all know the kind I mean, constantly at odds with each other, playing games or making snide comments. In fact you begin to wonder why and how they ever got together in the first place. The truth is that even these two probably felt the same spark and excitement that we all do at a first encounter with someone we are attracted to. The problem is that often we are unrealistic in our expectations, so over time we become disillusioned and resentful when our seemingly perfect partner crashes down from that pedestal. Can society be held accountable for our unhappiness? Think about it, two generations ago people were happy to make the most of what they had. Marriages could occur as young as late teens and in those days "for better or for worse" meant that you stuck it out through almost anything. I am not here to promote the institution of marriage, and in reality I think that the worst thing a couple can do is stay together when they are truly unhappy; however, have we gone too far towards the other extreme? Do we now expect everything to be so perfect and easy that we give up on a good thing?

 In a time where people replace their phones as often as their groceries we have often faced the accusation that we live in a "throw-away" society. We are used to having instant access to information, immediate results, and at the slightest indication that something isn't working, the ability to replace it with something better. Now apply this to relationships: why bother to work through relationship issues when instead you can simply upgrade to a slimmer, faster, sexier model? With such a colossal supply of desperate women searching for "The One" it is no wonder that romance is dead. The simple fact of the matter is that men don't have to try anymore; we fall into their laps terrified to make demands because we know that there are thousands of other women out there waiting to take our place who will demand less. It is simply a supply and demand issue.

So how do women face this problem? Well it is all a case of market forces. Essentially we have three options: lower your price, differentiate your product or create brand loyalty. Unfortunately it seems that the majority of women are selecting the first option and lowering their ideals. Suddenly we consent to sleeping with men with no guarantees, returning to them when they betray us and meeting their needs without considering our own. As a consequence I can't help but wonder what the ratio of flowers to condom sales are today. Women cannot however blame men for this phenomenon, after all, if the sweetie shop is giving away free toffees why would you pay for them? In addition the men out there who do hold romantic ideals are often stifled and ridiculed, as I mentioned at the beginning of this article "feelings" are out of style.

It seems that if we want the romance back both parties need an attitude adjustment. The rest of this article I address to the guys out there who think they have it in them to turn things around. I am not naïve enough to expect the readers of this article to transform into the lovesick poets or knights in shining armour of yesteryear; this would be ridiculous and would probably cause more embarrassment than anything else. I will however leave you with a few suggestions: if you are lucky enough to have someone special in your life a small gesture goes a long way. Bear in mind the more you do for her, the more she is likely to do for you.

Some ideas:

A post it on the fridge saying: "I'm thinking of you"

Flowers are not just for birthdays or special occasions

Ask her what her dreams are, there may be some that you can help with

If you are creative musically or artistically writing a song or painting something just for her is a sure way to score points

If you aren't musical – dedicate a song, it can be just as effective especially if it is one that means something to her

Tell her how lucky you feel to have her and how beautiful she is

Cook a meal – it's the thought that counts you don't need to be Jamie Oliver (fondue, for example, is easy, tasty and romantic)

Have an old fashioned romantic night in – the lads never need to know about the scented candles

 Have a picnic together

Star/cloud gaze

Go on a trip somewhere, even if it's just driving into another town for the day

Introduce her to your friends in a way that makes her feel special and accepted –for example "This is the one I was telling you about" goes down better than "the latest"

Good luck Romeo